Our parents' experiences and love are undeniable facts. When beneficial, we accept, learn from and repay them. When unsuitable we must not act insistently, which would only bring about family tragedy. One can try patient dialogue and persuasion; if this has been exhausted, then one must bear love's cost and chains, and enjoy the weariness from the bliss of family happiness, both its restraints and pleasures. But do not forget we are still "individuals”. Quietly search in your inner most for that mysterious taste of independence! Because my parents are enlightened, in the deep silent night, on the rare occasion when my mother does not help me--a middle-aged daughter--tuck in, I have the courage to write out a daughter's heartfelt wishes to her parents.
Father, mother, my love for you surpasses everything; I even pray to the heaven above that you will be the first to go. Yet I, the one who lacks the most courage to live, will push on until the very end for you. This for me is too difficult, but I agreed to come back here, to the complications and pressures of Chinese-styled engagements, to eat, to the concerned love you gave me---your darling treasure. But I request that you also give me some degree of a freedom. Because there's an opportunity to breath, on my shoulders this love's heavy burden will transform into responsibility’s pleasure.
父母的经历和爱心，是不可否认的事实。在好的一方面，我们接受、学习、回报，在不合时代的另一方面，一定不可强求，闹出家庭悲剧。慢慢感化，沟通，如果这一些都试尽了，而没有成果，那么只有忍耐爱的负担和枷锁，享受天伦之乐*中一些累人的无奈和欣慰。但是，不能忘了，我们也是“个体”，内心稍稍追求你那一份神秘的自在吧!因为我的父母开明，才有这份勇气，在夜深人静的时候，母亲不再来替我──一个中年的女儿盖被的偶尔自由中，写出了一个子女对父母的心声。
父亲、母亲，爱你们胜于一切，甚而向老天爷求命，但愿先去的是你们。而我，最没有勇气活下去的一个人，为了父母，大撑到最后。这件事情，在我实在是艰难，可是答应回国定居，答应中国式接触的复杂和压力，答应吃饭，答应一切你们对我──心肝宝贝的关爱。那么，也请你们适度的给我自由，在我的双肩上，因为有一口嘘息的机会，将这份爱的重负，化为责任的欣然承担。
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*天伦之乐: this phrase is hard to translate due to its vast cultural and religious context. Basically it regards the deep bonds of love and mutual concern (and enjoyment in life) between humans, family members, etc.
ps: thanks bijou for both your insight and retardation.
